Monday, August 24, 2015

A Door Shut from Your Side is a Door Locked from Mine (Good Riddance)

This will be short, because I have to work in the morning. I want to say that while some of my peers are determined to remain teenagers their whole lives, living vicariously through Tumblr and demanding every whim that enters their mind (endless amounts of attention and affirmation, for example), I am struggling with my identity at the moment. I am no longer a teenager, finally, but I am far from being an adult.

I don't know. This person knows who they are, and I'm no longer willing to pretend it doesn't bother me. Open letter time.

In the past year, you have become one of the single most hateful, bile-filled, social justice warrioring lunatics I have ever known. I don't mean lunacy as in making fun of your mental issues or emotional trauma, I mean you go after every motherfucking flaw you see in me. I'm racist, sexist, I whitewash my stories. Etc. I don't talk about the things you want to talk about.

Well, you blocked me. I hope that brings you some kind of solace. As for myself, I'm finally free. The person I was friends with was never coming back and the monster who replaced her was starting to dig the claws in for more blood, and I was nearly bled out. I am not sorry for what I said, only for the reason I had to say it.

I wish you were still my friend. Not you now, you then. You made me feel like such a bad person. I'm not changing, and you can go to hell.


Fuck your hashtags and your demands and your self-righteous dick-grade posts about the people in your life. You don't know anyone. We're all human, just like you. We have lives outside of Skype and Facebook and maybe when I'm working on school, writing, and sleep-deprived from working ten hours, I have NOT ONE SINGLE BASKET OF FUCKS TO GIVE ABOUT HOW AWFUL YOU THINK I AM FOR NOT COMING RIGHT OUT AND SAYING ONE OF MY GOD DAMNED STORY CHARACTERS IS NON-WHITE. My readers have brains. They're not stupid. They don't need that information unless that's what the story is about, and I'm not about to insult them by bashing the character's physical traits into their skulls when all they want is to see what happens next.

I do not enter the void of the internet solely to tell you that yes, we're still friends (obviously, now) or make small talk because after ripping me to bleeding fucking shreds about the use of the term "Mary Sue" you're convinced that no topic is safe to talk to ME about because everything makes ME mad. Well, that's just swell. I suppose I can be the villain if that's what villains do: repair their wounds in a corner and wait for the asshole to come back over the Skype hill for the next round. I've gotten good at that.

I did not sign up for this.

How dare you.

Good riddance, and good luck. I wish you the same respect you showed me in the end, which varies depending on whether or not you can see anyone else's point of view.